A break in my laziness...

I've sat down to blog about 87 times in the past month, and each time have found either no motivation, or nothing to say... I'll blog soon about my old truck, Seth, who my parents brought up to me the week of Halloween. I'm in the process of getting him ready to drive (he already drives, but I'm making upgrades). Anyway, I'll save that for another post, with pictures.

Today I want to share a couple of musings I've had in the last couple of days.
1) I assume that most people are like me in that sometimes they are uncomfortable talking to their boss. I don't mean talking about a raise or a promotion, or anything like that... Just making small talk. Sometimes it is a little awkward stopping in the hall to talk to your boss. Another thing that is sometimes awkward is standing at a urinal and making small talk with the guy next to you. Some people refuse to chat in the bathroom. I think for some men, that is their thinking time, and they do not care to be bothered... for some, they just fill "icky" talking while they're in that vulnerable condition... I'm not that guy... it can be a little uncomfortable, but it's not a big deal to me. However, the other day I was walking down the hall, on my way to the bathroom... All of a sudden, I see my boss up ahead turning into the bathroom. I think it is extra awkward to make small talk with your boss while you're both standing at the urinal, so I turned around (he hadn't seen me) and walked all the way to the bathroom at the other end of the building just so I could avoid the situation. I know not many guys read this blog, and girls typically chat it up in the bathroom anyway, so I don't know who feels the same way or not... feel free to share!
2) I hate malls. I went this morning to the Park Meadows Mall. My only purpose in going there was to visit "Dick's Sporting Goods" to get my duck hunting license (they were having a sale on ammo, so that's why I chose to go there). Anyway, the mall really isn't that bad... But, there are several problems I have with the mall.

• First, I can't stand all of the annoying people at vendor kiosks who want to sell you some magical fragrance, or a brand new phone.
• Second, I can't stand people who walk slowly, especially if they are walking with a group of about 3-20 people, and feel the need to walk side by side, slowly, through the mall, blocking the entire pathway. How about a little consideration, people?
• Third, I hate how frickin' retarded people get in mall parking lots. It happens in smaller parking lots too, but it is the worst at malls. They'll wait in their car, blocking the way, for five minutes waiting for someone to pull out, even if there is an empty space three cars away... They can't walk an extra 30 feet, so they'll wait five minutes.
• Finally, I can't stand it when I'm walking along a clearly established path and some aloof individual suddenly decides to stop and camp right in front of me... "If you want to stand, stand OVER THERE, where people aren't walking!!!!! This walkway is for walking!!!!"

Malls suck...

I used to love tag... ;) ("Four" Real)

My wife "tagged" me, and lest I seem anti-social, I suppose I had better answer the questions...

4 Random things I love about my wife:
*She is such a great MOM!
*She sings like an Angel...
*She has a great sense of humor
*She takes good care of me

4 Jobs I've had:
*Auditorium Technical Crew
*Print Shop Apprentice
*Math and Science Tutor
*Youth Mentor (with W.A.S.A. "Willcox Against Substance Abuse")

4 Movies I have seen more than once:
*Monty Python (Holy Grail)
*Cadence
*Shrek (about 18 zillion times, since my daughter loves it!)
*Forrest Gump

4 TV Shows I watch:
*The Office
*Big Bang Theory
*Amazing Race
*Little People, Big World (I'm fascinated by midg... little people)

4 Places I've Been:
*Germany
*England
*Hawaii
*Mexico

4 places I've lived:
*Joseph City, AZ
*Willcox, AZ
*Mountain View, CA
*Highlands Ranch, CO

4 Favorite Foods:
*Pizza
*Red Robin's A-1 Peppercorn Burger
*Breakfast Burritos (eggs, potatoes, cheese, sausage, and salsa)
*"Snacks" (just kidding... that's what Gracie says if you ask her what her favorite food is!)

4 Places I'd Like to Visit:
*Hawaii
*Germany
*New York
*Australia

4 People I tag:
Jodi C.
Raysha P.
Suzaphone B.
Kathy P.

Sign Thieves are Pansies!!!!

We've all heard of other people having political signs stolen from their lawns. I think we can all agree, no matter what your political views, that stealing lawn signs is childish and lame... Well, last night, we were over at our friends' house carving pumpkins. When we drove home, we noticed that my lawn signs were in disarray. I had two signs... one for McCain, and one for a Senatorial candidate here, Bob Schaffer. This particular night, there was only a McCain sign left standing, and it was ripped up, and leaning over.
I assessed the damage, and found the Schaffer bent and laying on the ground up by our front porch. The McCain sign was ripped down one side, but still standing. I simply put them back up, and as I was doing so, realized that the only reason the McCain sign was still standing is that it was anchored pretty securely in the dirt... pansies... quitters... can't pull a little sign out, so you run off in shame???
So, I'm not really attached to the signs. It just bugs me that people felt the need to step into my yard to destroy my property... especially that they just left the signs there as litter.
I've tried to think of how I should address the situation. Following are my options, as I see them. Please feel free to add your own!
1) Completely forget about it. Election Day is only 7 days from now, so it's not really a big deal.
2) Next election, if I decide to have yard signs, I will keep a live electrical current running through the wire frame of the sign. That way, if someone decides to grab it, they'll get a little surprise... I will make sure that the current is not deadly, just make them think a bit.
3) I was told that you can get a system to keep dogs from deficating on your lawn. It has a beam around the perimeter of your lawn that, if broken, activates the sprinkler system. I'm thinking I may get such a system that will both turn the sprinklers on, and snap a few pictures! Then, I could embarrass the jerks by sending them into the local paper or something...

Anyway, somebody destroyed my signs... No big deal, but it still makes me want to punch them in the face about 18 times...

Elk Hunting

I haven’t blogged recently, because I’ve been a little preoccupied with my elk hunt. I’ve decided to tell you all about it, because I had tons of fun! I went hunting with some friends, Bill and Broc in Western Colorado, near Rifle. Broc had access to some private land, and we were able to stay in a rustic little cabin (propane lighting, no running water, and a wood stove for heat). I won’t spoil the results be telling you now, so read on…

Elk Hunting... Day 1

Day One (Saturday, 11/11/08)
We arrived at our hunting area Friday night late. We met up with a hunting “outfitter” or guide who also has hunting rights to the land. He had been talking about working as a team (with him and his hunters) to get our elk. We figured, since he’s a guide, and knows where the elk are, we might as well team up with him. So, when we got there Friday night, he told us that he had seen a “pile” of elk right near our cabin just that evening, so we decided to hunt just up the hill from our cabin the next morning (Saturday). We woke up early and had hiked up the hill before the sun came up. We didn’t find a great place to sit and “glass” for elk, so we ended up hiking around all morning, and seeing absolutely no fresh sign of elk the entire time. Broc and I saw no mammals that morning other than two other hunters, and a porcupine… That’s when I came to realize that the guide who supposedly was “helping” us was actually getting us out of his way so we wouldn’t disturb his hunt.
Around noon, we decided to drive around another part of our hunting area to see what it was like. We couldn’t find the right road, so we stopped at a house. It turned out to be the house of another hunting outfitter who also had hunting rights to our land… He and the other guide had been having somewhat of a feud, so he told us exactly where the huge herd of elk had been, and told us where and when to go there. This place also happened to be the place we were trying to find on the map, so it confirmed where we were going to hunt that afternoon.
We headed for the cabin, and decided to go hunting around 2:30. So, that afternoon, we arrived at our hunting spot, and sat in various locations to “glass” the meadow, pond, and ridge that were in our view. It was raining, and hailing, and very cold. I was about ready to give up and go back to the cabin, when I looked about 700-800 yards away on the ridge, and saw 15 elk grazing, and slowly working their way down the hill towards us. My buddy, Broc, had an elk call, and was calling to them, and they were answering, but from his vantage point, he couldn’t see them… Anyway, I had watched them for almost an hour, when he and I stalked up to a closer vantage point, but still not close enough to shoot, and the elk were still hidden above a small grove of aspen trees. It was close to getting dark, and the elk were still not down to the meadow, so we decided to go up after them. The brush was much thicker than it appeared from our previous vantage point, and locating the elk was somewhat difficult. We took a course toward the right, which happened to be the thicker brush. Our friend Bill, who was still sitting on another hill, and was watching us, could see the elk to the left, but we didn’t have our radios turned on, so he couldn’t relay the information.
Anyway, we found some elk, but they were in a really brushy area. I took 1 shot at a cow elk, who was only about 50 yards away, but was behind a bunch of brush. She didn’t jump, of flinch, or anything… she just stood there for a few seconds, and then bolted off. I didn’t think I had hit her, but I tried to find a blood trail just in case. It was impossible since the ground was so wet with the rain that had been falling. We continued to stalk the elk, and Broc would call to them, and they would call back. We had bulls bugling on both sides of us, and cows all around as well. We saw a few more elk up the side of the hill about 200 yards, but never got a good shot at them. It started to get dark, and we had left out lights down at the bottom of the hill, so we hurried down before it got dark, knowing that we would come back there the next day.
While all of this was happening, by the way, the unfriendly guide, and all of his men were hanging around trying to pick up our scraps, and they were not pleased at all, that we had invaded their prime hunting territory. This only added to the euphoria I felt at having stalked my first elk!

Elk Hunting... Day 2

Day Two (Sunday, 11/12/08)

This was Bill’s last day of hunting, so we decided to split up, and take two different courses up the same ridge that we had hunted the day before. Bill took his quad, and rode up the back-side of the ridge, while Broc and I went up the ridge in the same place we had seen them the day before. When we drove to our starting point, he other hunters were there, and were slightly pissed off that we would invade their territory again, but we weren’t too fond of them, so we didn’t care all that much…
Broc and I stalked up the hill where we had seen the elk the day before, and found them in essentially the same place. I saw a really nice sized bull about 200-250 yards up the hill, standing broadside to me, but we was walking. I decided to take the shot without trying to find a rest, so I wasn’t very stable, and missed him. He ran in one direction about 5 steps, then turned around and bolted into the thickest brush… I really need to practice shooting, especially with no rest, so I can actually hit the stupid thing next time.
Broc and I continued up the hill to where I thought there was a road… We never found the road, but instead found some of the steepest terrain around, which we decided to cross. We were in the middle of this adventure when we “jumped” several more elk out of the thick brush around us. As we were stalking them, Broc shot at a cow elk about 200 yards away. I watched the cow flinch as he shot, so we thought he hit her, but weren’t sure. We crossed some pretty rugged terrain to get to where she was, and Broc found a small amount of blood. We worked so hard to find the blood “trail”, but she wasn’t bleeding much at all. We found her blood trail, and followed her over three hours total, but never found her. The blood trail seemed to grow smaller, and since she had been moving for 3 hours without slowing down, we figured she must not be mortally wounded, and we gave up. It’s a really crappy feeling knowing that you’ve wounded an animal, but can’t find it… It really makes you feel upset, and you vow to take “better” shots next time. Really, there’s only so much you can do in a situation like that…
In the meantime, Bill had shot, and killed, a cow on his side of the ridge, so we hiked over to him. He had already gutted the elk, so we helped him load it onto his quad, and then I hiked back to the cabin alongside him to help him in some of the steeper areas, while Broc went back to his truck where we had started hunting that morning.
We had hiked easily over 7 miles that day over some really steep terrain, so when Bill left, Broc and I decided that we would not go back out hunting that night, but we would rest and go out the next morning.
We were sitting in the cabin eating our cups of soup, when, at about 6:55, I looked out the window and saw a lone cow elk standing only about 60 yards away eating some grass. I said, “Dude, elk!”, to which Broc replied, “Shut up!”, to which I replied, “Seriously, there’s an elk right there!”, to which he replied by jumping up and grabbing his gun, since he was closer to the gun rack. He quietly slipped out the door, and started to creep closer, where he could get a shot… I stood inside watching the whole thing with anxiety, because Broc was taking longer to shoot than I would have… The cow got spooked and bounded up the brushy hill, but was still in sight. I grabbed my gun, and headed out the door, but by the time I got out there, she was clear out of sight, and it was starting to get a little dark to shoot. We missed out gift-wrapped chance at an easy elk. She was seriously right on the side of the road when I first saw her. She would have been so easy to clean and load into the truck!!! Day two was full of excitement… and disappointment (other than Bill’s elk).

Elk Hunting... Day 3

Day Three (Monday, 11/13/08)
Broc and I slept in a little, because our plan was to go up where Bill had shot his elk the day before, and wait for them to cross the ridge. It was obvious from the trails there that they crossed regularly. Bill had seen his elk around 8:00 am, well after sun rise, so we planned to be there just before sun rise, and wait.
We hiked up the steep hill, and got to the top of the ridge just in time to see about 10 elk crossing where Bill had harvested his the day before. Alas, we were just about 10 minutes to late. We spooked them, and most ran off. One bull waited behind some trees for about 10 minutes, but we waited too. Finally, he bolted from the trees, and through the clearing, but not long enough for us to get a shot off… We decided to sit and watch, in case another group tried to cross, but all we saw was a coyote, using the same trail as the elk, but headed the opposite direction. We hiked around, dejectedly all morning, without seeing another elk.
That afternoon, we went back to the pond, and sat to watch the hillside and the pond. We had thoroughly disturbed the elk in the last couple of days, and they decided they didn’t need to drink from that pond today, so we never saw a thing…

Elk Hunting... Day 4

Day Four (Tuesday, 11/14/08)
This was our last chance. Broc had to be to work on Wednesday, and we were both exhausted, so Tuesday morning was our last ditch effort. We hiked up to the place where Bill killed his elk again, this time arriving well before sun up. We sat in the spot, and never saw an elk the entire time. Our last effort was futile, so we headed back to the cabin and packed up. When we got home, we helped Bill butcher the back half of his elk, for which he shared some of the meat with us…
Even though I didn’t harvest an elk, the hunt was successful, in my eyes, because I had a ton of fun, and learned so much that will help me be more successful in future hunts. I learned that I need to practice shooting much more often to feel more comfortable with the shot when it really matters. I learned that I also need to practice climbing up steep hills before I go out to hunt elk… it nearly killed me! ;-) I learned that elk hunting is fun, whether you get an elk or not, if you’re with people who all get along with each other, and have good senses of humor. I learned better ways to stalk elk. I learned to never trust a hunting guide who you have not hired. I can’t list all the valuable things I learned, but I’ll just say it was an experience I won’t forget.

Random Musical

When Laurie and I were single and living in Mesa, AZ, we had friends who, every now and then, would put on what they called "random musical" in local malls. They would get together on a Saturday morning and work out some simple choreography, and a song... I think it was always the same song ("Sieze the Day", from Newsies) Anyway, then they would all go to a mall and go their separate ways. At a designated time, they would all be near the same area, and one of the "performers" would just start singing very dramatically... "Open the gates and sieze the day..." After a couple of lines, "random" people would join him until eventually there were a lot of people singing the song, and doing the choreography. When they were done singing, they would just stop and walk away as though nothing had happened, and they didn't know each other. Laurie and I wanted to do it, but were both busy when we got the chance...

Anyway, Laurie, Gracie and I were going through the McDonalds drive thru the other day, getting some McFlurries... The young man took my debit card, and processed the transaction. He then gave my card back to me, paused, then sang, "You've got the whole world, in your hands..." I couldn't figure out what he was talking about, and thought he was moronic, until Laurie realized that my debit card has an image of the earth on it... We drove away laughing hysterically! I've never been sung to in a McDonalds drive thru, or any other drive thru for that matter. What a great way to bring a smile to people's faces!

Grace... for real

Some know, some don't, that Laurie and I have been trying to add to our family for well over a year now. It's been Laurie, Gracie, and me for over 2.5 years now...
Some couples have a hard time "getting pregnant". We don't. Our problem would be "staying pregnant". Since May of 2007, Laurie has been pregnant several times... Each time, we get our hopes up, only to be completely disappointed and discouraged by another miscarriage. The most disappointing one happened last September - a full ten weeks into the pregnancy...
The doctor says there's really nothing he can do about it... It's a "chromosomal miscarriage" which he claims happens in about 1 out of 20 pregnancies (5%). Well, apparently our doctor never had a course in statistics, because it has happened to us in at least 4 out of 5 pregnancies (80%)... Those ratios don't add up to me, which tells me he should be doing more tests to find out what is wrong. If we followed typical statistics, our four miscarriages would have happened over a course of 80 pregnancies... I highly doubt it is what he considers a "chromosomal miscarriage". SO FRUSTRATING!!!!
We've talked to other people who have had multiple miscarriages, and most say the same thing... their doctors put them on "progesterone", which apparently helps the catchers mitt not to drop the ball...
Anyway, when you consider that we have such a hard time enlarging our family, Gracie's name really makes sense... It is, by the way, by the "grace of God" that we're able to have her in our family. So, count your blessings...

Dora the Explorer... Why!?

My daughter loves Dora the Explorer. I'm not sure if she loves Dora more than "princesses", but its definitely close. I really am not sure if I'm okay with my daughter being so enamored by Dora the Explorer. Let me explain the numerous reasons why:

1) Do we really want to teach our children that they can go on adventures crossing alligator lakes, snake rivers, etc. without any adult supervision. Her only companionship is a monkey who wears boots, and a backpack and map that she talks to... that's not creepy at all.

2) With all of the social pressure on our children to fit in and wear the "right" clothes these days, do we really want our daughters idolizing someone who wears a pink shirt with orangish-red shorts, then accents with yellow frilly socks? It gets even worse when you consider that her shirt isn't long enough to cover her big-ole gut!

3) I know that the show is supposed to encourage learning dual languages and everything, but in reality, do we want our kids speaking in English with few Spanish words mixed in here and there? Its already hard enough to understand them sometimes... If my daughter wants to speak Spanish, I'm fine with that, but I hope that she'll speak it in complete sentences, as well as English.

4) Finally, I do not want my daughter idolizing/hanging out with someone who just happens to be carrying a backpack full of a flashlight, a shovel, a map, a water-skiing rope, and a bar of soap. I can think of no good reason why a child would need that combination of things in her backpack... it spells one thing... "T-R-O-U-B-L-E"!

Finally, you can see that if you step back and look at the concept of Dora the Explorer, its pretty unnerving to have your child watch and adore the show... So, parents, beware, and please be careful about what your children watch...

(wink, wink)

Punish Success?

So, I just read an article online the other day about a situation that really irritates me...
There's a 9-year old kid in New Haven Connecticut who can throw a 40 mph fastball!!
Good for him, huh? Wrong!!!!!
Everybody knows that if you can throw faster than other kids your age, you shouldn't be allowed to play baseball... (heavy sarcasm...)
The league told the boy's coach that he cannot pitch. If the boy pitches, the league will disband the entire team. The coach did not allow the kid to pitch the next game. However, he understood the injustice that was being done and defied the wishes of the league by allowing the kid to pitch in the next game (2nd game after ban). The team's opponent for that game saw that he was pitching, packed up their equipment, and left, forfeiting the game... The league's legal representative justified the actions of the league by saying, "There are a lot of beginners. This is not a high-powered league. This is a developmental league whose main purpose is to promote the sport."
3 obvious questions about this story....
1) What kind of mindset convinces someone that it is okay to punish one person for being better at something than his peers? (Answer to come later)
2) What kind of mindset convinces someone that it is justifiable to punish several kids for the actions of one kid? (I'm talking to you, school teachers! ;) ) (Answer to come later)
3) What kind of developmental league limits the available development of it's members?

My answers to the obvious questions.......
1)

• Who punishes investors for making intelligent and informed investment decisions? The liberals.
• Who punishes a corporation for putting together a successful (and legal) business strategy, resulting in great profits for the corporation's shareholders? The liberals...
• Who complains when a company can't compete with a better/bigger competitor? The liberals...

It is obvious to me that it is a completely liberal mindset that allows this sort of thing to happen to a kid who is "too good" at baseball. In their selfish and self-entitled minds, they can't handle the fact that people are better at things than other people, especially if they or their kids are not the "better than" person...

2) Sorry, school teachers... The idea that you should punish a group of people for the supposed transgressions of one person is a completely socialist ideal. I remember this happening in elementary school and being baffled by the idea that I should be punished for somebody else's actions simply because we happened to be in the same room... If you feel like being caught up in this sort of society, then by all means, join the socialists... You can find them here.

3) Finally, what is the baseball league trying to "develop" the players into? Wussies? Look, if you want every kid to get a trophy/award, and every kid to be a "winner", then T-ball is the limit... If you want to teach your kid that when he's not good enough all he has to do is complain or quit, and he'll be taken care of, then I've got a problem with that. That kid will end up having the same entitled attitude as you, at the expense of everybody who is trying to "develop" into something more... When your kid gets poor grades at school, it is you who complains until the teacher raises his grade just enough to get you off his back... That, again, is punishing those kids who actually earned better grades.

Am I way off base here? If I'm wrong, please, someone tell me... There's a guy at work who's better at typing than me, and I'm thinking of having him punished...

Pacifier Fairy Update

The Pacifier Fairy came and visited Gracie Saturday night... Laurie helped Gracie put all of her pacifiers in a gift bag and then hung it from the door knob of our spare bedroom (which is still a spare bedroom if anyone cares to visit...) The Pacifier Fairy came in the middle of the night and took the 'fiers. In their place, she left 5 plastic animals, not unlike the ones that Gracie's cousin Scottie has, and Gracie seemed to love...
Gracie has been a very big girl about it, and it hasn't been that big of a challenge to get her to sleep at night. Occasionally, she'll ask for her 'fier, and we have to remind her that she doesn't have a 'fier anymore. The Pacifier Fairy took them and gave them to other little kids that didn't have a 'fier, and she brought Gracie animals instead... She gets quite a pouty lip, and has cried a couple of times, but she cheers up quickly enough.
I think I failed to consider the best aspect of the Pacifier Fairy idea until after the fact... The best thing about a pacifier fairy, is that when your daughter is upset about not having a 'fier, and you're trying to comfort her, you can totally deflect blame to the Pacifier Fairy, and she holds no animosity towards you for taking it away. Bonus!!!!

I just realized that Laurie already posted about the fairy, but I'll post this anyway...

My turn to blog about Gracie!

Laurie always gets to brag about the funny things that Gracie does, so the other day, she did something funny and I called "dibs"! The other night, we were trying to convince Gracie to eat her dinner. She used to be so good about eating her dinner, but lately, she's struggling. Anyway, we tried everything... we told her she could have ice cream if she ate "some" of her dinner. We told her if she didn't eat, she couldn't get down. Finally, we told he if she wanted to be a big girl then she had better eat her dinner... she replied by saying, "I big enuff!" Another story I called dibs on.... Last night, we were on our way to Red Robin to eat some burgers, and we were talking about the "Pacifier Fairy" coming to visit Gracie. I don't remember who Laurie got the idea from, but if you're unfamiliar, the Pacifier Fairy comes and takes your pacifier and leaves you a toy... Gracie has been resisting the Pacifier Fairy for quite awhile now, but we've decided that the Fairy will come whether she's ready or not... Anyway, we started talking to Gracie about the Pacifier Fairy coming, and she responded by asking, "The Pacifier Fairy coming? HE bring me a toy?" I swear that I have done nothing to teach her what a fairy is, but she just seems to know through instinct! She knows the difference between boys and girls, and even uses "he" and "she" correctly. I think my daughter may actually have GAYDAR!!!

More about oil

Don't get me wrong, I hate paying high gas prices just as much as anybody, but let's not look for a scapegoat, and tax ourselves into a worse situation...
I realize I already posted my gripes about people (the media) villianizing the oil companies, but I found some more info that was interesting.
We hear the media talking everyday about "big oil's" "windfall profits", and how congress is considering taxing these windfall profits. I'll be honest, and state that I had no idea what "windfall profit" actually meant, but it still ticked me off, knowing that oil companies profit margins are not out of line when you look compare to other industries. So, I looked up what "windfall profit" really is.
Basically, a "windfall" profit is one that politicians decide wasn't an expected profit, and was not a result of efforts of the firm. The definition is not well defined anywhere, so politicians are free to call any profit a "windfall" profit. The idea is that since the company didn't "expect" the profit, they should share those profits with the government at a higher rate than the normal corporate tax rate.
The question is, "Who is being taxed, when Congress decides to tax these profits?" The answer is, "Me and you." Anyone who holds any stock whatsoever in the oil company is paying for making a sound investment. If you have a 401k, it is a virtual certitude that you have money invested in "big oil" (shame on you, you sellout!!!)
Some people argue that the oil corporations are already receiving huge tax breaks... The reality is that they are receiving tax breaks, just like all U.S. manufacturers are receiving tax breaks. I can't state the values of the tax breaks for oil vs. the tax breaks for other U.S. manufacturers, but the way the media portrays it, it seems like "big oil" is the only industry receiving them... By the way, Congress isn't looking just to end tax breaks for oil companies... they want to take that money and use it to subsidize alternative energy companies. How is that fair?
I did some more research on profit growth for different industries (for 2007, since 2008 data isn't available). Here's my source (Fortune, again).
Below are some standouts, with their ranks... remember this is PROFIT GROWTH in 2007:
5. Airlines 33.8% (poor airlines. Fuel $ is killing their margins (rolls eyes)
8. Entertainment 25.6% (everybody loves celebs. telling them how to think)
10. Household and Personal Products 20.3%
18. Real Estate 10.5% (even in a crap market, real estate has growing profits
22. Beverages 7.6%
35. Petroleum Refining -0.7% WHAT?! Their profits are actually shrinking!!!!
39. Mining, Crude-Oil Production -9.1% Oh! The Humanity! We're being robbed!!!!!
Are we really going to let Congress, the media, and Alec Baldwin tell us that they are experiencing "windfall" profits when their profits are actually shrinking? Are we suggesting that they shouldn't "expect" to beat last years profits? That they should run a failing business? That will really help investment...

Don't get me wrong, I hate paying high gas prices just as much as anybody, but let's not look for a scapegoat, and tax ourselves into a worse situation...

Mind your own business, woman!!!!

Last Friday, I was home from work, and Laurie and I decided to take Gracie swimming. It turns out that every Friday is "pool day" for our ward at this particular rec. center we decided to go to. So, when we get to the pool, there are already about 8-10 mothers from our ward with their children there... I was the only dad.
If you know me, you probably already know that I am one very hairy man... Chest, Arms, Legs, Back... everywhere. In fact, several years ago, when Laurie and I went on a cruise, I entered the hairy chest contest, and was only beaten by one old man who wasn't nearly as hairy as I was, but had saggy breasts that the crowd loved for some reason... anyway, that's a different story. My point is, I'm really hairy. Sometimes I feel a little self-conscious about it, but not nearly enough to wear a t-shirt while swimming.
So, we get ready to swim, and I take my t-shirt off. My lovely body hair floating on the warm breeze... My family had a great time swimming, and although I thought about the hair occasionally while swimming, it didn't bother me all that much.
FAST FORWARD...
This week, I hear from a man in our ward that one of the women from our ward who was at the pool that day was slightly disgusted by my body hair. She went home and forced her husband to shave his chest... I AM JUST A LITTLE PISSED OFF ABOUT THIS!!!!!! I mean, it's not mold, or a virus or anything... it's hair. How shallow can you be? The worst part is that she (or her husband) feels the need to talk about it in ward social circles as though I'm Quasimoto or something...
I'm considering now, how I should react to this. So far, I've come up with two alternatives, as follows:
1) I could confront this woman and tell her to "kiss my hairy white butt!", which would probably be considered as crass, and probably wouldn't win me any friends.
2) I could start a story floating around our ward about how I'm considering forcing Laurie to remove her skin. That way, there will be no chance that her skin will ever be as wrinkly and old-leather looking as the skin of the shallow woman at the pool. I could start by just telling a few strategic people in the ward, and, no doubt, the story would soon reach her ears... Then she would either feel like a real dumb-a or be really ticked at me or both. This is probably not a good response either.

So, I'm left to do nothing put fell inner angst at this situation, and publish it to the entire world on my blog (I think only about 2.5 people read this blog anyway). There's always the chance that somehow people in my ward will find this blog and then start the story for me anyway... That would be fun!

Finally, one further option is to stand up in testimony meeting at church and summarize the Dr. Seuss story of the "Star-Belly Sneetches", and follow it up with a statement that we shouldn't judge ourselves better than others because we do or don't have stars or hair on our bellies. Sometimes people are too shallow to understand the jab is directed at them though, so it would probably be a waste of effort on my part.

I guess I'm stuck with venting on my blog... 'Til next time!

Northwest Airlines

Just a quick one here... Did anyone notice that Northwest Airlines is starting to charge a "fuel surcharge" on most domestic flights? If you read my post about oil company profit margins, you know that Northwest Airlines is the one airline that is making a higher profit than any major oil company... yet they have the gall to charge us a surcharge for fuel as though it is breaking their profits...

Exxon Profit, Oh MY!!!!

Preface:
I'm a little more skeptical of media reports than the average guy (I think). I write these blogs for two reasons. The first is to get my thoughts down and somewhat organized. The second, is I'm doing some research, and passing that on to my friends. Hopefully, if any of you don't have time to research these things, you'll find some use in my research.
Post:
I had a conversation the other day with an acquaintance at work regarding oil prices. It came up that Exxon is having record profits. It seems to be a big topic lately, because people are irate about the price of gas, and are looking for the bad guy in the situation. Just today, CNN (and Fortune) had a very misleading article on the highest profits made by companies in 2007. I say "misleading" for two reasons.
Misleading Headlines/Tag lines
First, CNN's tag line read "Exxon Mobil again tops Fortune's list of top earners. Which other companies are among the most profitable on the planet?" I clicked on it to read, and find out the Exxon is actually number 2... I guess top is a relative term.
Profit is not the same as Profit Margin
The second reason I find the article misleading, along with almost media sources is that they report straight profit, without taking into account the revenue of the company. A more equitable tool of comparison is profit margin, which relates the margin to the total revenue of the company. For instance, if I own a company, and I make $100 profit, and my friend owns a company and makes a profit of $200, and that's all anybody ever looked at, you would say my friend is doing better (and liberals would say he should have his profit taxed!). However, if we reported that my company had a revenue of $1000 and my friend's company had revenue of $4000, we get the full picture. For every dollar of product I sold, I made $.10 profit. For every dollar or product my friend sold, he made $.05 profit. (He still made more money than me, because either I was too lazy, or too dumb to market to the right people!) Thus, you see that you must compare profit margins, and not just profit.
Actual Winners
I did some digging to find out if Exxon's profit margin was out of line. What I found on Fortune's website was interesting. Fortune lists the "Fortune 1000" companies, along with their revenue and their profit. What follows are the facts. The company with the highest profit margin on their list is "Mirant" an electric energy company with a profit margin of 70.87%. You would have to scan down the list all the way to #219 to find Exxon, with a measly profit margin of 10.89%. There are 218 companies on Fortune's 1000 list that have a better profit margin than any major oil and gas company!!! Here's a list of companies that most of us are familiar with that have better profit margins that Exxon:

• Microsoft (27.51%)
• Google (25.33%)
• Qwest (21.17%)
• Coca-Cola (20.73%)
• Johnson & Johnson (17.31%)
• Northwest Airlines (16.71%) How can an airline complain about gas prices when they're making a higher profit than the gas company?
• Harley Davidson (15.20%)
• McGraw-Hill (14.97%) We all knew that we were getting robbed on our text books!
• St. Jude Medical (14.79%) This one really pisses me off... I did a "Math-a-thon" for them when I was in elementary school to help them raise money to save kids... Turns out, they're making a profit!
• Apple (14.56%)
• PepsiCo (14.33%)
• Walt Disney (13.06%)
• Abercrombie & Fitch (12.69%) This is just further evidence of the lack of intelligence of all the sheep who buy their entire wardrobe here! They are actually fleecing you!
• Anheuser-Busch (12.68%)
• Allstate (12.61%)

I think the main point here is that the oil and gas companies are not really the monsters that the media is painting them to be. With this knowledge, I feel that any liberal push to tax the profits of the oil and gas companies (a bad idea to begin with) should apply to every other company that does business in this country and makes huge profit. It would never happen... oil and gas are the "bad guys"...

Orion Program

I'm too lazy to blog... I've thought of several things that I wanted to blog about in the last week or so, but I'm too lazy to leave my remote control and come type. Typing is hard!!!! I'm just kidding. But, this is why I've changed the title of my blog to "The Lazy Blogger".


Anyway, I wanted to blog about my work, because I think it's interesting stuff. For those of you who don't know yet, I've worked for Lockheed Martin for almost 6 years now, with the last 1.5 being in Denver working on the "Orion" program (also called Crew Exploration Vehicle, or CEV).


Orion is NASA's intended space travel system that will replace the space shuttle and allow us to return astronauts to the moon. The program has even loftier goals of eventually facilitating travel to Mars... that's a ways down the road.


To be fair, Orion is just a portion of a much bigger NASA program called "Constellation". Constellation consists of launch vehicles (rockets) calles Ares, Orion, and a Lunar Lander.


Orion consists of a "Service Module" (SM), a "Crew Module" (CM) and a "Launch Abort System" (LAS). You can read more about Constellation here, and about Orion here. You'll also find links to the Lunar Lander and other interesting stuff...


I play two roles on the Orion Program that are very much related. First, I lead the Transportation and Handling Equipment Design Team. Second, I lead the Ground Test Article Mechanical Ground Support Equipment (MGSE) Design Team. Both fall under the larger umbrella of MGSE Design. One distinction that I have on the program (which I have to admit I'm rather proud of) is that I designed the very first piece of hardware formally delivered to NASA for this program. It wasn't anything fancy, but it was first!! You can see pictures of my first Orion Delivery here.
In this picture, you're looking at a test article CM for our very first "abort flight test". I designed only the part on the top that is yellow, which as I mentioned before, isn't really that impressive, but since it was the first delivery, it gives me a sense of pride.








Anyway, I really like my job, and it's an exciting program. One day, it's likely you'll be watching tv, and see things that either I or one of my team members has designed. I know I haven't done the project justice in my description, but check out the NASA links above. On the Orion link, there are all sorts of other links to things that are going on in the program. Good stuff...

Gun control (I'm in a political mood this morning)

For those of you who haven't heard, the Supreme Court declared a Washington, D.C. ban on handguns unconstitutional this week, by a margin of 5-4. I don't have a handgun, and I don't live in Washington, D.C., but this is still good news to me.
The D.C. law basically outlawed any handgun that was not "registered", and also made it illegal to "register" a handgun. Therefore, all handguns were illegal with one exception. The Chief of Police could issue gun licenses, valid for 1-year. Even so, any licensed gun, could not be kept in the home without being either disassembled, or having a trigger-lock. (I own one gun (a hunting rifle) and I do store it in the home, and I don't have a trigger lock, but a bolt-lock. I just think it's a smart thing to do, especially with kids in the house)
I actually read the court's decision on this issue. The entire document is about 160 pages long, with Justice Scalia writing the majority opinion (64 pages) and Justice Stevens and Breyers each writing a dissenting opinion of about 45 pages each. If you're into debate, then you should read this report. I happen to think Scalia wrote the better opinion, and had more referenced information, whereas Stevens made more unverifiable statements. Anyway, not to bore you...
I won't get into all the details of the arguments, but one thing that I want to comment on is the checks and balances system in our government. Our government was established with three distinct branches, each having it's own distinct role. In our government, the Judicial Branch has the responsibility to make decisions on whether existing laws have been followed... In no way do they have the power to create or amend laws. What we see today in some of the radical judicial districts, and even in some members of the Supreme Court, is judges who are trying to abuse their power in ways that amend laws. Read Stevens' opinion, and you will see what I mean. At one point he rationalizes that since there is a huge gun violence issue in D.C., this should come into consideration when determining if the D.C. handgun ban is "constitutional". If this practice is adopted, then the meaning of the constitution necessarily changes with the season, thus amending the laws therein. Does this seem like a role of the judicial branch to you?

I apologize for my political mood this morning, I'll try to blog about more interesting things in the future...

Glenn Beck

My first political blog... Hopefully, it will not drive anybody away over boredom. Or anybody away out of offense... I'll try to make each political blog I write have an obvious title so that you can skip over it if you're not interested. Of course, in making that statement, I'm assuming that you're interested in the other stuff I blog about!
Glenn Beck, for those of you who don't know, is a conservative "Talking Head" on the CNN channel. He also occasionally rights commentary pieces for CNN's website. I happened to find this one the other day. It's entitled "Obama no, McCain maybe". What I like about the article is his definition of what a true conservative is, as compared to what a Republican is. I'm a Republican, but consider myself a conservative first. By this, I mean that I identify myself as a Republican, but if the party is to differ from my political views in a particular issue, I will not blindly follow the party, but will make my own decision. I should make it clear that I will be voting for McCain in November. I'm not posting this to dissuade anybody from their choice, only in hopes that you will read Beck's definition of what a true conservative believes. Some excerpts:

• A conservative believes that our inalienable rights do not include housing, healthcare or Hummers.
• A conservative believes that our inalienable rights DO include the pursuit of happiness. That means it is guaranteed to no one.
• A conservative believes that those who pursue happiness and find it have a right to not be penalized for that success.
• A conservative believes in personal responsibility and accepts the consequences for his or her words and actions.
• A conservative believes that real compassion can't be found in any government program.
• A conservative believes that each of us has a duty to take care of our neighbors. It was private individuals, companies and congregations that sent water, blankets and supplies to New Orleans far before the government ever set foot there.
• A conservative believes that family is the cornerstone of our society and that people have a right to manage their family any way they see fit, so long as it's not criminal. We are far more attuned to our family's needs than some faceless, soulless government program.
• A conservative believes that people have a right to worship the God of their understanding. We also believe that people do not have the right to jam their version of God (or no God) down anybody else's throat.
• A conservative believes that people go to the movies to be entertained and to church to be preached to, not the other way around.
• A conservative believes that debt creates unhealthy relationships. Everyone, from the government on down, should live within their means and strive for financial independence.
• A conservative believes that a child's education is the responsibility of the parents, not the government.
• A conservative believes that every human being has a right to life, from conception to death.
• A conservative believes in the smallest government you can get without anarchy. We know our history: The larger a government gets, the harder it will fall.

If you want some comedy, read the comments that are attached to his article... One responder said, "Thanks for reminding me of the reasons I'm not a conservative." My logic leads me to the same beliefs that Beck outlines...

On a side note, when we were in Boulder, waiting for BNL to perform, I was in the bargain books section of the store, and happened to pick up a book about "conservatism" (as defined by a left-wing liberal, so you know it's accurate **sarcasm alert**). His main point was that to be a conservative means to resist ALL change. That is a very narrow view of the matter, and justifies a narrow definition of a liberal, which is (in my view), "A Liberal loves change for change's sake. If something is working, don't worry, they'll "fix" it."

Snacktime with BNL

First, let me apologize for the novel that follows... I'm a fan, and can't help it!

I'm finally blogging about our experience with the Barenaked Ladies (BNL) last weekend. For those of you that dont' know who BNL is, they are one of my favorite bands of all time, and they happen to be awesome performers, so any show of their's is a good one!

I got word that one of my favorite bands of all time was going to be up in Boulder, CO at the Barnes and Noble bookstore. They just released their kid's cd, "Snacktime", and were there to promote the cd. They played a 30 minute set, and then spent an hour signing the cds. It was a huge blast! We got there about 2 hours before the show started, because we needed to get wrist-bands to have our cds signed. We still didn't get good seats, but it was kind of a blessing in disguise. We set up camp right near the main aisle as you come in the store. I stayed there and made myself look as big and smelly as possible, while Laurie and Gracie went to look at kids' books. While I was sitting there, I swore that I saw Ed Robertson (one of the "Ladies") walk into the store and right by me... I thought I must be imagining it, but then about 15 minutes later, I know that I saw Tyler Stewart (the drummer) walk by, so I started keeping my eyes peeled. Laurie and Gracie came back to hang out with me, and it was a good thing, because Laurie had the camera. Not too long after she got back, I yelled (not loud), "There's Jim!!! Where's the camera?" (Jim is the bass player for BNL). Our camera takes for ever to power up, but it made it just in time for me to yell "JIM" and he turned to wave!

What great luck!!! I held on to the camera, just in case we saw more of the "Ladies" up close, but no luck at that point...

The concert started, and Laurie and I took turns holding Gracie on our shoulders. She loved the show so much! She saw wiggling, and clapping and laughing... It was really cute!

When the show ended, they started autographs, but they were only letting a few people go at a time, and BNL was only going to sign for 1 hour... It came down to the wire for us, as we were some of the last group to get signatures. It was a total blast to be able to talk to each of the band members. I have to admit that I even got a little tongue-tied when I talked to Steven Page, who is probably my favorite band member. I asked him a question about one of the songs we sang on his solo album, and I couldn't even remember the name of the song, so I totally botched it!!! Ed Robertson was kind enough to allow Gracie and I to have a picture with him. He's my other favorite...

Here's a crappy picture of the other band members (From left, Kevin Hearn, Steven Page, Jim Creeggan, Tyler Stewart):

It was such an exciting day for me, and I think Laurie and Gracie enjoyed themselves as well. If any of you happen to listen to their new cd, check out 7-8-9 and Pollywog. Those are our favorites. By the way, you can watch an animated music video for 7-8-9 here, and you can also download it for free on the BNL website. Check out the music video. There is a hilarious line at the end, but I'll encourage you all to watch it on youtube by not repeating it here.

After the autographs, we took a quick drive up the canyon that Boulder Creek runs through... I'm guessing it's called Boulder Canyon, or Boulder Creek Canyon, but I don't know. Whatever it is called, it was beautiful, and it looked like there were tons of places to pull off and have fun in the water.

Long story short, Boulder can be a fun place to visit even if you're not a hippy or bleeding-heart...

My First Blog

Hello to anyone who reads my first blog...
My wife has a family blog, and I'm sure she'll be better at keeping people up to date on most of our news than I will. I'm starting my own blog because I think that my blog topics won't be of the same flavor as the family blog, and I don't want to dilute that blog. I'm not saying the my blog posts won't likely be family-friendly. I'm only saying that when I want to rant about something I don't want that to be followed by some blog about some funny thing that Gracie did.
So, welcome to my blog... I hope it's entertaining, and I hope that I'm able to incorporate Doogie-esque morals to the story and feel good messages occasionally...