Pacifier Fairy Update

The Pacifier Fairy came and visited Gracie Saturday night... Laurie helped Gracie put all of her pacifiers in a gift bag and then hung it from the door knob of our spare bedroom (which is still a spare bedroom if anyone cares to visit...) The Pacifier Fairy came in the middle of the night and took the 'fiers. In their place, she left 5 plastic animals, not unlike the ones that Gracie's cousin Scottie has, and Gracie seemed to love...
Gracie has been a very big girl about it, and it hasn't been that big of a challenge to get her to sleep at night. Occasionally, she'll ask for her 'fier, and we have to remind her that she doesn't have a 'fier anymore. The Pacifier Fairy took them and gave them to other little kids that didn't have a 'fier, and she brought Gracie animals instead... She gets quite a pouty lip, and has cried a couple of times, but she cheers up quickly enough.
I think I failed to consider the best aspect of the Pacifier Fairy idea until after the fact... The best thing about a pacifier fairy, is that when your daughter is upset about not having a 'fier, and you're trying to comfort her, you can totally deflect blame to the Pacifier Fairy, and she holds no animosity towards you for taking it away. Bonus!!!!

I just realized that Laurie already posted about the fairy, but I'll post this anyway...

My turn to blog about Gracie!

Laurie always gets to brag about the funny things that Gracie does, so the other day, she did something funny and I called "dibs"! The other night, we were trying to convince Gracie to eat her dinner. She used to be so good about eating her dinner, but lately, she's struggling. Anyway, we tried everything... we told her she could have ice cream if she ate "some" of her dinner. We told her if she didn't eat, she couldn't get down. Finally, we told he if she wanted to be a big girl then she had better eat her dinner... she replied by saying, "I big enuff!" Another story I called dibs on.... Last night, we were on our way to Red Robin to eat some burgers, and we were talking about the "Pacifier Fairy" coming to visit Gracie. I don't remember who Laurie got the idea from, but if you're unfamiliar, the Pacifier Fairy comes and takes your pacifier and leaves you a toy... Gracie has been resisting the Pacifier Fairy for quite awhile now, but we've decided that the Fairy will come whether she's ready or not... Anyway, we started talking to Gracie about the Pacifier Fairy coming, and she responded by asking, "The Pacifier Fairy coming? HE bring me a toy?" I swear that I have done nothing to teach her what a fairy is, but she just seems to know through instinct! She knows the difference between boys and girls, and even uses "he" and "she" correctly. I think my daughter may actually have GAYDAR!!!

More about oil

Don't get me wrong, I hate paying high gas prices just as much as anybody, but let's not look for a scapegoat, and tax ourselves into a worse situation...
I realize I already posted my gripes about people (the media) villianizing the oil companies, but I found some more info that was interesting.
We hear the media talking everyday about "big oil's" "windfall profits", and how congress is considering taxing these windfall profits. I'll be honest, and state that I had no idea what "windfall profit" actually meant, but it still ticked me off, knowing that oil companies profit margins are not out of line when you look compare to other industries. So, I looked up what "windfall profit" really is.
Basically, a "windfall" profit is one that politicians decide wasn't an expected profit, and was not a result of efforts of the firm. The definition is not well defined anywhere, so politicians are free to call any profit a "windfall" profit. The idea is that since the company didn't "expect" the profit, they should share those profits with the government at a higher rate than the normal corporate tax rate.
The question is, "Who is being taxed, when Congress decides to tax these profits?" The answer is, "Me and you." Anyone who holds any stock whatsoever in the oil company is paying for making a sound investment. If you have a 401k, it is a virtual certitude that you have money invested in "big oil" (shame on you, you sellout!!!)
Some people argue that the oil corporations are already receiving huge tax breaks... The reality is that they are receiving tax breaks, just like all U.S. manufacturers are receiving tax breaks. I can't state the values of the tax breaks for oil vs. the tax breaks for other U.S. manufacturers, but the way the media portrays it, it seems like "big oil" is the only industry receiving them... By the way, Congress isn't looking just to end tax breaks for oil companies... they want to take that money and use it to subsidize alternative energy companies. How is that fair?
I did some more research on profit growth for different industries (for 2007, since 2008 data isn't available). Here's my source (Fortune, again).
Below are some standouts, with their ranks... remember this is PROFIT GROWTH in 2007:
5. Airlines 33.8% (poor airlines. Fuel $ is killing their margins (rolls eyes)
8. Entertainment 25.6% (everybody loves celebs. telling them how to think)
10. Household and Personal Products 20.3%
18. Real Estate 10.5% (even in a crap market, real estate has growing profits
22. Beverages 7.6%
35. Petroleum Refining -0.7% WHAT?! Their profits are actually shrinking!!!!
39. Mining, Crude-Oil Production -9.1% Oh! The Humanity! We're being robbed!!!!!
Are we really going to let Congress, the media, and Alec Baldwin tell us that they are experiencing "windfall" profits when their profits are actually shrinking? Are we suggesting that they shouldn't "expect" to beat last years profits? That they should run a failing business? That will really help investment...

Don't get me wrong, I hate paying high gas prices just as much as anybody, but let's not look for a scapegoat, and tax ourselves into a worse situation...

Mind your own business, woman!!!!

Last Friday, I was home from work, and Laurie and I decided to take Gracie swimming. It turns out that every Friday is "pool day" for our ward at this particular rec. center we decided to go to. So, when we get to the pool, there are already about 8-10 mothers from our ward with their children there... I was the only dad.
If you know me, you probably already know that I am one very hairy man... Chest, Arms, Legs, Back... everywhere. In fact, several years ago, when Laurie and I went on a cruise, I entered the hairy chest contest, and was only beaten by one old man who wasn't nearly as hairy as I was, but had saggy breasts that the crowd loved for some reason... anyway, that's a different story. My point is, I'm really hairy. Sometimes I feel a little self-conscious about it, but not nearly enough to wear a t-shirt while swimming.
So, we get ready to swim, and I take my t-shirt off. My lovely body hair floating on the warm breeze... My family had a great time swimming, and although I thought about the hair occasionally while swimming, it didn't bother me all that much.
FAST FORWARD...
This week, I hear from a man in our ward that one of the women from our ward who was at the pool that day was slightly disgusted by my body hair. She went home and forced her husband to shave his chest... I AM JUST A LITTLE PISSED OFF ABOUT THIS!!!!!! I mean, it's not mold, or a virus or anything... it's hair. How shallow can you be? The worst part is that she (or her husband) feels the need to talk about it in ward social circles as though I'm Quasimoto or something...
I'm considering now, how I should react to this. So far, I've come up with two alternatives, as follows:
1) I could confront this woman and tell her to "kiss my hairy white butt!", which would probably be considered as crass, and probably wouldn't win me any friends.
2) I could start a story floating around our ward about how I'm considering forcing Laurie to remove her skin. That way, there will be no chance that her skin will ever be as wrinkly and old-leather looking as the skin of the shallow woman at the pool. I could start by just telling a few strategic people in the ward, and, no doubt, the story would soon reach her ears... Then she would either feel like a real dumb-a or be really ticked at me or both. This is probably not a good response either.

So, I'm left to do nothing put fell inner angst at this situation, and publish it to the entire world on my blog (I think only about 2.5 people read this blog anyway). There's always the chance that somehow people in my ward will find this blog and then start the story for me anyway... That would be fun!

Finally, one further option is to stand up in testimony meeting at church and summarize the Dr. Seuss story of the "Star-Belly Sneetches", and follow it up with a statement that we shouldn't judge ourselves better than others because we do or don't have stars or hair on our bellies. Sometimes people are too shallow to understand the jab is directed at them though, so it would probably be a waste of effort on my part.

I guess I'm stuck with venting on my blog... 'Til next time!

Northwest Airlines

Just a quick one here... Did anyone notice that Northwest Airlines is starting to charge a "fuel surcharge" on most domestic flights? If you read my post about oil company profit margins, you know that Northwest Airlines is the one airline that is making a higher profit than any major oil company... yet they have the gall to charge us a surcharge for fuel as though it is breaking their profits...

Exxon Profit, Oh MY!!!!

Preface:
I'm a little more skeptical of media reports than the average guy (I think). I write these blogs for two reasons. The first is to get my thoughts down and somewhat organized. The second, is I'm doing some research, and passing that on to my friends. Hopefully, if any of you don't have time to research these things, you'll find some use in my research.
Post:
I had a conversation the other day with an acquaintance at work regarding oil prices. It came up that Exxon is having record profits. It seems to be a big topic lately, because people are irate about the price of gas, and are looking for the bad guy in the situation. Just today, CNN (and Fortune) had a very misleading article on the highest profits made by companies in 2007. I say "misleading" for two reasons.
Misleading Headlines/Tag lines
First, CNN's tag line read "Exxon Mobil again tops Fortune's list of top earners. Which other companies are among the most profitable on the planet?" I clicked on it to read, and find out the Exxon is actually number 2... I guess top is a relative term.
Profit is not the same as Profit Margin
The second reason I find the article misleading, along with almost media sources is that they report straight profit, without taking into account the revenue of the company. A more equitable tool of comparison is profit margin, which relates the margin to the total revenue of the company. For instance, if I own a company, and I make $100 profit, and my friend owns a company and makes a profit of $200, and that's all anybody ever looked at, you would say my friend is doing better (and liberals would say he should have his profit taxed!). However, if we reported that my company had a revenue of $1000 and my friend's company had revenue of $4000, we get the full picture. For every dollar of product I sold, I made $.10 profit. For every dollar or product my friend sold, he made $.05 profit. (He still made more money than me, because either I was too lazy, or too dumb to market to the right people!) Thus, you see that you must compare profit margins, and not just profit.
Actual Winners
I did some digging to find out if Exxon's profit margin was out of line. What I found on Fortune's website was interesting. Fortune lists the "Fortune 1000" companies, along with their revenue and their profit. What follows are the facts. The company with the highest profit margin on their list is "Mirant" an electric energy company with a profit margin of 70.87%. You would have to scan down the list all the way to #219 to find Exxon, with a measly profit margin of 10.89%. There are 218 companies on Fortune's 1000 list that have a better profit margin than any major oil and gas company!!! Here's a list of companies that most of us are familiar with that have better profit margins that Exxon:

• Microsoft (27.51%)
• Google (25.33%)
• Qwest (21.17%)
• Coca-Cola (20.73%)
• Johnson & Johnson (17.31%)
• Northwest Airlines (16.71%) How can an airline complain about gas prices when they're making a higher profit than the gas company?
• Harley Davidson (15.20%)
• McGraw-Hill (14.97%) We all knew that we were getting robbed on our text books!
• St. Jude Medical (14.79%) This one really pisses me off... I did a "Math-a-thon" for them when I was in elementary school to help them raise money to save kids... Turns out, they're making a profit!
• Apple (14.56%)
• PepsiCo (14.33%)
• Walt Disney (13.06%)
• Abercrombie & Fitch (12.69%) This is just further evidence of the lack of intelligence of all the sheep who buy their entire wardrobe here! They are actually fleecing you!
• Anheuser-Busch (12.68%)
• Allstate (12.61%)

I think the main point here is that the oil and gas companies are not really the monsters that the media is painting them to be. With this knowledge, I feel that any liberal push to tax the profits of the oil and gas companies (a bad idea to begin with) should apply to every other company that does business in this country and makes huge profit. It would never happen... oil and gas are the "bad guys"...

Orion Program

I'm too lazy to blog... I've thought of several things that I wanted to blog about in the last week or so, but I'm too lazy to leave my remote control and come type. Typing is hard!!!! I'm just kidding. But, this is why I've changed the title of my blog to "The Lazy Blogger".


Anyway, I wanted to blog about my work, because I think it's interesting stuff. For those of you who don't know yet, I've worked for Lockheed Martin for almost 6 years now, with the last 1.5 being in Denver working on the "Orion" program (also called Crew Exploration Vehicle, or CEV).


Orion is NASA's intended space travel system that will replace the space shuttle and allow us to return astronauts to the moon. The program has even loftier goals of eventually facilitating travel to Mars... that's a ways down the road.


To be fair, Orion is just a portion of a much bigger NASA program called "Constellation". Constellation consists of launch vehicles (rockets) calles Ares, Orion, and a Lunar Lander.


Orion consists of a "Service Module" (SM), a "Crew Module" (CM) and a "Launch Abort System" (LAS). You can read more about Constellation here, and about Orion here. You'll also find links to the Lunar Lander and other interesting stuff...


I play two roles on the Orion Program that are very much related. First, I lead the Transportation and Handling Equipment Design Team. Second, I lead the Ground Test Article Mechanical Ground Support Equipment (MGSE) Design Team. Both fall under the larger umbrella of MGSE Design. One distinction that I have on the program (which I have to admit I'm rather proud of) is that I designed the very first piece of hardware formally delivered to NASA for this program. It wasn't anything fancy, but it was first!! You can see pictures of my first Orion Delivery here.
In this picture, you're looking at a test article CM for our very first "abort flight test". I designed only the part on the top that is yellow, which as I mentioned before, isn't really that impressive, but since it was the first delivery, it gives me a sense of pride.








Anyway, I really like my job, and it's an exciting program. One day, it's likely you'll be watching tv, and see things that either I or one of my team members has designed. I know I haven't done the project justice in my description, but check out the NASA links above. On the Orion link, there are all sorts of other links to things that are going on in the program. Good stuff...